I have been absent from this blog for a time as I work on a few other projects. They are exciting projects and it is good to be busy. Ideas for recapturing come to me all the time and I jot them down on paper, in my iphone and on my computer. I actually have many, many half written Word documents. My struggle is that I begin to write and then think what I’m writing is garbage so I abandon it. Sometimes I wait a few days/weeks and then go back to it, but often they remain unfinished.
Lots of people understand the idea of sharing your “work” with others can be hard. My husband asked several weeks ago if he could read something I wrote. I refused! I protested, “It’s not finished. I’ll let you read it then.” Obviously I know and understand his love for me will not be changed based on this piece. Yet, there is something in me that wants to hide and protect my writing. That’s no good.
I recall in high school writing a fiction piece and as I got deeper into it I abandoned it. I realize now I wanted perfection and knew not how to achieve it. I still have no idea how to achieve perfection in my writing and doubt I ever will. However, I do try to be vulnerable and share pieces I don’t really want to.
At times, I think of Emily Dickinson. She lacked confidence in her writing. At the same time, however, she knew she was doing something special. She hoped that someone would want to read what she had composed. I only hope someone wants to read what I’ve written while I’m alive. So, perhaps, I should give in to my husband…